true beauty IS skin deep

Beauty is such a desired characteristic. No matter where I am in the world, everyone seems to seek beauty. Unfortunately, the beauty we seek has been defined by the world, not God. At home, people (including me) invest so much time and money in beauty aids. Cosmetics, curling irons (for those with straight hair), straightening irons (for those with curly hair), dieting fixes, fancy clothes, razors and waxing, tanning agents, and even surgical procedures are just a few. In Bangladesh, seeking beauty produces the same pains, only most the desired characteristics are completely opposite. White and 'healthy' is the way to be. Whitening creams and cooking with lots of oil are good solutions for those who fall short and have the money to spend. Those who don't have the money have to face the riducule.

Last week, I began to understand the effects of this. Among my students, Shema (a beautiful, energetic 10-year old) argues with me everytime I mention the word, "Shoondor" (beautiful) in regards to her. "No Auntie" she'll reply as she wrinkle her nose. Then she points to her skin and says, "Kalo" (black). The world's view has insulted Shema's true beauty, and the biggest problem is that Shema has accepted this LIE as truth. The acceptance of this lie has had quite an impact. Last week, Shema and another girl got into an argument. Although I couldn't understand what they were arguing over, I heard the other girl remind Shema that she is 'black.' Shema ran out upset, returning later that morning when she should have been in school. Apparently, she felt sick. Visiting her home added even more insight to the problem. Her mother complained to me "Shema is too dark."

What a lie Shema has accepted. What I lie I accept everytime I reject myself, trying to change my beauty. The TRUTH is that GOD IS BEAUTIFUL, and we were created in HIS image. The TRUTH is that after God created us, He proclaimed our goodness. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, and that is the TRUTH whether we accept it or not. Satan is the king of lies and our minds are a battlefield for his operations (Rom 7:23). 2 Cor 10:5 leads us to "demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

For you [God] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you [God] because I [Lindsay] am beautifully and wonderfully made. [Lord] your works are wonderful, and I know [and accept] that as the TRUTH! from Psalm 139:13-14

cheers to God

I had a wonderful thought the other day as I was staring out the bus window. The thought was probably prompted by the clear view that I wasn't the only one who experienced the adventure of Bangladesh. Seeing a man jump off a moving bus dodging traffic to get to the side of the road appears like quite a display of courage, but that is just as common a site as men getting a running start to get on the bus. I always thought the adventure was only new to the foreigners, but I now understand that the locals are not immune to it. Bangladesh is just as much an adventure for them as it is for me. The main difference is my advantage to escape it.

As I was realizing how crazy Bangladesh can be for everyone, I was overwhelmed by my ability to survive it. This time, I am clearly the disadvantaged one. I am the 'young one', new to the systems (or lack of), new to the language, new to the culture. It seems I have miraculously become quite independent. I am able to take a local bus across a city of 12 million (mostly non-English speaking) people. I can bargain my way to the fair price in a market (where the starting price is double for the white girl). I can even make egg curry and mango pickle. I have somehow achieved independence (a characteristic in myself I have always been a bit proud of). And in this world of irony and misconceptions, it is clear that my 'independence' is only proof of God's working (dependence). Without God's leading, without God's grace, without God's provision my survival in this environment is impossible.

To God be the glory!!

"the year 1414"

Although the year 1414 is a date in our history books, for Bangladesh it has yet to be written. Today (April 14th, 2007) is the 1st day of the year 1414 according to the Bengali calender. As we welcome the new year, the nation unites in celebrations that are rich in culture and tradition. Joining in today's fun, I quickly learned that Bangladeshi's celebrate this holiday in a very specific way.

The first commonly practiced tradition starts at breakfast. Every family will enjoy Patta (day old rice soaked overnight in water) with a variety of dishes. Fried Hilsa fish (the national fish that is as rich in taste as it is in bones) and charred red chilies are among the favorites of traditional dishes. I was fortunate enough to eat this twice. Although I was skeptical on the safety of the food I am confident in the cleansing power of JESUS!

The next important tradition is specifically for women and requires careful selection from the wardrobe. A cotton Red and white or orange and white sharee is a must. I must say, seeing everyone wearing the same colors really added a sense of widespread unity to the day. Unfortunately, my maroon sharee didn't pass as red, but people were just happy that I was celebrating with them. Being a foreigner offers that certain grace. I did, however, get it right by decorating myself with fresh flowers and clay jewelry.

Bangladeshi's are never short of celebrations (this past month alone we've celebrated 4 special occasions), but this one was definitely set apart. As we welcome a new year, we look forward to the changes that will make this nation an even better place!

Grocerers and Morticians Working Together

Bangladesh is going through a season of major clean up. Most of that is evident in the political world as major leaders are now facing judgment for actions like hoarding money and relief goods to support their family's homes and businesses. That isn't the only injustice Bangladeshi's are facing. Dirty, toxic food has proved to be a result of corruption, too. Some fo the recently exposed tricks of those in the food business has really killed my appetite. Injecting fruits, vegtables, and fish with Formalin (aka Fermeldahyde) has been the common solution to the fast decay rate in hot-humid weather. A study on the powedered milk (the only easily available form of dairy) reported a lack of honesty and accountability to packaging guidelines. (If I am not drinking milk, what am I drinking?). A recent bird flu scare has kept us away from chicken and eggs. Although the goverment has successfully exposed malpractices, it is impossible for them to maintain food safety on a national level without a good system in place. This, of course, will take time. In the meantime (until otherwise exposed), it seems we'll be sticking to Rice, Dal, potatoes, carrots, and onions.

NEW PICS

Follow the link to see newly posted pictures from the Bangladeshi Wedding and the Library!!!

Reading in Dhaka

Today was another wonderful day with the kids at the library, even though it was a bit different. I did not teach English today, which allowed the children to do their own activities. A few took the extra time to study and review their school work, but most turned to the books on the library shelf. Here in Bangladesh, a strange thing happens when 17 students find their own books to read: it gets LOUD. When the children read to themselves, they read aloud. The more students reading, the louder they have to read to maintain their concentration. Although this habit caught me by surprise, I decided it might be healthy for them to learn how to concentrate over noise, since Dhaka is not a peaceful place in the least. I guess with time, you get used to the chaos.

Recently, I have realized that I, too, am adjusting to Dhaka's craziness. A week ago, riding the bus seemed to be my most draining hours of the day, but now they are my most renewing. Thanks to a new found ability to concentrate, I have been able to spend my bus time in a productive way. I READ!!! [I am currently finishing The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancy. (Highly recommended!)] This works in my favor for many reasons: I don't criticise the driver's consistant road rage; I'm less aware of all the almost-accidents I could've been in; I don't notice all the people staring at me; and now have time to read all the books I 'wish I had time to read.' It has become for me a devotional time with God. To think that amidst the extreme chaos of a Dhaka city bus, i have found a place of peace is alone a testimony. God's peace can be found anywhere!!

Which do you enjoy more: the dance, or the one you dance with?

March 30th, 2007

Last week, someone shared with me a picture they saw whle praying for me. The picture was me follwoing God's footsteps. I wasn't following a clear path of footprints in this picture, but instead i tried to imitate each step God would take in front of me, ONE step at a time. If God took a big side step, I playfully did the same. If God took a mini step back, I playfully imitated.... and it became a dance.

I have to admit that this picture couldn't have been shared with me at a better time. As I have been learning more about the people I work with, I have been left so inspired by what has blossomed from their vision. Of course, after listening to their incredible stories of where God has brought them from and where they feel God is leading them, the conversation has naturally turned my way and they ask, "What is your vision?" After getting asked that question 4 or 5 times, my confidence in saying, "I don't know yet" has disappeared. Instead of resting in the faith that God will show me my vision when I am ready, I began toiling trying to figure out what my future might look like. That toil had muted my enjoyment of my dance. Following God's steps, one at a time, had recently become so difficult and tiring.

I am so thankful that God spoke through someone and brought me back to that place of enjoying the journey. More importantly, I am realizing that not only is it NOT about the destination, it really is NOT about the journey either. It's about enjoying HIM.

A Humbling House Visit

29th of March, 2007

Today was a highly anticipated day in the life of Najama. Today, Najama finally looked forward to taking me to her home. Although it is a big deal to bring a foreigner to your home in Bangladesh, the anticipation grew from several days of hearing me say, "Sorry, maybe tomorrow." Yesterday, after seeing her frustration and disappointment, I promised. Thankfully, I was able to keep my promise.

Najama is one of the 49 students 'enrolled' in the library ministry I work with daily. and, yes, i said 'enrolled.' Although most ministry is aimed to provide opportunity to those who are limited, these students are required to enroll for 2 very good reasons. First, a very small monthly fee must be collected (5 taka) for each student to have library priveledges. Free handouts have sent a negative message about responsibility in the past, so offering services for an almost-free cost is now neccessary. Secondly, there is just not enough space for all those interested. Thankfully, enrollment keeps those who are lucky to have the opportunity accountable. Najama is one of the faithful ones who rarely misses a day.

Today, Najama showed up early to make sure I had plenty of time for my visit. I wish you could have experienced the pride she showed as she introduced me to her family and showed me their home. After walking through the slum, it was evident that she had more to show than most living in the area. If you can imagine a mini-farm (or more realistically a cow petting zoo) in the midst of a city slum, that's what Najama had to show off. Although Najama was proud, I had to hide my shock, especially when I sat down in the tin-box they called home. The heat stole my breath and was unbearable, yet watching Najama's 9-month-old nephew comfortable swinging from a make-shift rocker (a sheet tied to the cross bars of the roof) left me wondering if I was the only one who noticed the heat. To think that I've complained about going home to a room without AC is quite embarrassing now. Thankfully, Najama's 5-year-old niece sang songs for me, and I became distracted by her cuteness. The family served me 7-up, cookies, and grapes. To make sure you understand this incredible hospitality, I want to point out that I don't even bother buying grapes for myself because they are so expensive. What a humbling experience.

What is most humbling is that this 10-year-old girl was so excited to bring me home and give me the best. The joy in giving was so genuine. It was a true reflection of Jesus. Jesus didn't give Himself over to the Jews concerned about His suffering. Instead, He was concerned about what was best for those He loved so much. Like Jesus, Sharma wasn't thinking about how having me over would add to their suffering. She gave proud that she was blessed enough to give me the best. BLESSED she truly is.

"Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the Kingdom of Heaven" --Jesus